Serenity & Agitation. A perfect combination.

I haven’t been on the computer for a long time, uh.. okay.. three days maybe, and yah.. I think I should just die, like really, I want to this time.

I checked my email, and felt like joining a group on face-book, and my friends posted something to tease me, argh. Not just that.. why do I call them my friends? If one minute they’re with me, and another against. I now understand what Mina talks about. Again, I can talk to who I want, and what I want and CRITICIZING shouldn’t be necessary. You’ve put me off against believing in you ‘my friend’ all that stuff I told you.. argh. You weren’t even close… maybe just a jerk.

We had a Party today in school, and it was great. Some of it anyway… RedStitches came, :) I knew she wouldn’t let me down. I didn’t get to talk to Mina that much. *feels bad* I think I should start again. Or.. just die.

Why is it if I have a good day in school, I have the toughest at home?

My dad nearly beat me. :/ Nearly. I didn’t even do anything. And after that he felt sorry for me, and told me to wipe my tears. I know.. why was I crying? Argh, when you’re being screwed at, and you find out you can’t have real friends, and the person you thought you’d be with forever decides to leave you, and you’ve broken half a years anniversary of staying away from.. self destruction, you would fall into a deep hole. Ma says to quit gothing about (although she knows nothing) Oh, I told her I was cold (The reason I had my massive cloak on), and I didn’t eat anything at all today, except a lil’ chocolate, and I drank FIFE cups of coffee. Ma is screwing again, and oh.. sorry, can’t mention the rest.

My face is screwing again. It stings, the tears and my frizzy hair combined kill. (Although I washed the purple spray off.. and showered for ages)…

I wont stop doing this. I broke the promise. I broke myself. I’m falling.

Battery is dying.

So is my heart.