Serenity & Agitation. A perfect combination.

I like to seem un-emotional, I think its a state of mind, when I try and be somewhat insensitive, I am. But then when everything hits you.. right at you.. You break, just.. suddenly…

I have to admit I was much wiser before, because I wanted to seem wise, but back then I loved empathy.. wow. Dude, I loved it. Now.. I abhor it. They all pretend to care, they all have their own little fucked up secrets to worry about. There’s no such thing as ‘I care’…

What basically happened was that I talked to two great people. <3 One, a lot older, and one.. kinda older. I love them both.. really. And well.. The dude just broke me, he’d said something that ouch.. ouch.. killed. That’s why I choose to confide in ONLY you tumblr. :P No serious, I have nothing to tell people, I may be full of evil secrets… but.. and what? They wouldn’t care anyway?

Okay, so.. I feel stupid infront of Her. I’m great at keeping a convo flowing, but I can’t.. I was in tears already, and she’d posted up something I once wrote that.. well.. I found pretty personal. See, what’s the point in opening up, if inside you don’t want to?

I know he cares, and loves me. whatever. But.. I dunno. I can’t explain myself. My mind is so closed.. actually it’s the opposite.. its wide open; searching for my inner and perplexed feelings.

I hate myself now. I sin.. grave sins. I know it.

About someone else;
she’s walked out of my life so casually. she doesnt care anymore. she thinks i’m fucking mental. she rawr. she she she thinks she’s changing for the better.. she’s just hurting others? whats worse?

mmm.. i think i’ve pretty much let that all out…

and oh, i’m on the kitchen floor in my duvets. blame my nan, (and the window that takes effort to close……)

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I loved this;

Mothers can be so oddly amazing some times bro! Yesterday I was getting prepared to go to work, dressing and all so my mom who was watching me all the way started crying. I freaked out and asked her why is she crying. She said ” you’re beautiful Abeer”!! First time in 30 years lol she never said such a thing to me. So I was like ” ok but why are you crying”? and she was like ” because you think
 ” because you think you are not”
 I was touched greatly!